


Plot Holes

by orphan_account



Category: Late Night Host RPF
Genre: Comic, Gen, Masturbation, Public Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:43:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3211271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth jerks off to comic books. And not just sexy comic book ladies. He jerks off to well-developed story lines and plot twists in comic books too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plot Holes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MadameExpendable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameExpendable/gifts).



> Can you find all the references I made throughout the fic? Let me know in the comments if you do!

He’s eighteen and his parents let him use the car while they take the train for a weekend trip to Vermont. Seth grabs the keys while Josh is busy blasting music in the family room.

“I’m going to the comic store!” he shouts.

Josh is too busy reading his history homework and listening to music to care. Seth is glad. He loves his brother, but sometimes he can be a really annoying tagalong.

He's driving his dad's car since he doesn't have his own yet, so he drives like a granny to store, terrified of scratching the paint. His parents trust him, obviously, but he doesn’t want to disappoint them. But maybe he speeds up when he sees there’s an open meter a few feet from the store, so he pulls in and parks kinda crooked, but it’s okay because he knows exactly which comics he’s gonna buy. He feeds the meter a quarter—more than enough time—and runs inside.

He’s totally not freaking out when he sees there’s like three editions of _Plasma Girl: The Bionic Limb_ left on the shelf. He grab that and a copy of last weeks’ _Spiderman_ since Josh brought it to school with him one day and let it get all crumpled and torn at the bottom of his bag like some dork. Luckily this shop is good about keeping a few leftovers.

He walks up to the clerk and hands him the two comics.

“$6.50.”

Seth fishes some bills and nickels out of his pocket, careful not to let his license fall out. 

The clerk hands him the receipt and the bag, and Seth is bolting out of the store.

Since Josh is still studying and blasting his music, Seth decides driving to the park to read will be the only way to go somewhere quiet and read. And it’s September, so there’s not gonna be very many more nice days like this yet. And maybe, just maybe, Jenny Owens will walk by and they can talk about going to the movies. _Doc Hollywood_ was still in theaters. Or maybe she’d want to see something more artsy?

Seth hasn’t decided yet, but he reaches the park and decides he’ll let her pick…if she even wants to go out with him, that is.

Seth sits down at one of the picnic tables and pulls _Plasma Girl_ out of the bag. He’s not gonna lie, as hot as Rebeka Ramirez is, her looks do not compare to the awesomeness of the plot and other characters. Do the writers not realize there is more to her than just huge breasts? Purple boobs are cool and all, but what about her heart? Her mind? Her passion for justice? Weren’t those parts just as admirable?

Seth turns the pages and can’t help but think he could write better characters and stories than this. He keeps a notebook of funny lines and bits that he and sometimes Josh will come up with, and though he adores comics and their creative worlds, there is something that’s missing from most of them…

Like what if Rebeka fought Dr. Disaster without the help of Sideways Sal? She was a military trained assassin. Why would she need a sidekick to help her do everything?

“If I had a comic series, each character would have their own powers, and they’d only team up because they were friends. Not just because the sidekick wants to bang the heroine. That’d be awesome.”

Seth turns a page. Rebeka’s skimpy leotard thing was ripped in half by Dr. Disaster’s league of sentient Venus flytraps. If there was any less material, he’s sure he’d be seeing nipples and her vagina. He feels his dick twitch in his jeans. And, okay, he’s not gonna lie here, he kind of _does_ want to see that. 

But shit, couldn’t Rebeka be promiscuous _and_ have a more solid backstory? Was that asking too much? Weren’t the writers being paid through the nose to come up with this stuff?

He turns the page again and the flytraps have wrapped their vines around her body so her arms are held immobile against her chest. She’s bent over so her ass is the focus of the page, and she’s looking over her shoulder—mouth wide—in horror at what Dr. Disaster has tried to get away with this time.

Seth quickly feels his morals start to evaporate. A tiny part of his brain knows it’s wrong and kind of stupid, but the rest of his body kind of wants to come in her ass. He squirms a little on the bench. He thinks maybe he should leave and finish this at home, but he can’t exactly stand up looking like this while he’s at a fucking park. What a dumb idea…

With the sheer disadvantage of having nothing else to, Seth keeps reading, which is actually a pretty dumb idea too. Seth grinds the heel of his hand against his crotch to try and find some relief. He turns the page.

This time, Rebeka is trying to kick the control panel beside her with the heel of her boot while balancing precariously on the heel of the other. And she’s still bent over. Of course. Because that is so practical and hot and makes no sense and hot and dangerous and _hot_

“Shit, shit, shit.”

He feels like he’s a hair’s breadth away from coming in his jeans, but it’s not like he has tissues or a sock at hand since he’s decided to do this at a fucking park. It is then that Seth remembers he still has the _Spiderman_ comic. The one he bought to replace his ruined one. 

Seth grabs it from the bag remembering to apologize to Josh for being so harsh with him seeing as how he was going to ruin this copy in a much worse way.

“Are you actually going to do this?” he asks himself.

Seth looks left and right, relieved that everyone else is either in school or at home like Josh doing homework before quickly undoing his constrictive jeans, pulling out his weeping cock, and rolling up the magazine in a tube. His dick slips right over the stiff, glossy pages.

“This is so fucking wrong.”

He knows it is. This whole scene is wrong on more than one level. He could technically be tried as an adult for jerking off at a public park. It’s eventually the fear, shame, and wet pages that do him in, and he comes all over Spiderman’s front page. Seth quickly discards the soiled comic in the bag he carried it in before zipping up his jeans and jumping up from the bench like he was on fire. He sprints to the trashcan to throw out the evidence before half-jogging back to his car.

Once he’s seated behind the wheel, he lets out a huge gust of breath. 

“I made it.”

His hands shake when he goes to put the key in the ignition.

When he gets home, Josh is eating a ham sandwich and drinking a Coke.

“I thought you were going to the comic store,” he says.

Seth swallows, remembering the trashed _Spiderman_ comic and how he left _Plasma Girl_ on the park bench before sprinting off.

“Oh, um, they didn’t have the one I was looking for. It was sold out.”

Josh buys it.

“Bummer.”

Seth walks over and takes a bite of Josh’s sandwich before Josh takes a bite.

“Sandwich tax!” Seth says through a mouthful.

Josh shakes his head.

“You are so weird.”

Seth swallows and laughs.

“More than you know, bro.”


End file.
